This is just a small snippet of the things I see and experience on my travels as an Appliance Engineer. This is part two of who knows how many.
After more than 30 years of traveling around the country repairing machines for people, I have become "snow blind" That's my term for just not noticing what your wallpaper or your floor covering looks like. I just don't see it anymore. Honestly, even in this day and age there are people who will pull the washing machine out and give it and the floor a good clean before they call me out.
Trust me people, I don't see dirt anymore. Don't waste your time and effort. If you are young and fit, I will give you plenty of time to clean your machine when I have it pulled out. If you are a bit older, I will say nothing, but just clean it for you myself, before I push it back in. So don't worry.
Apparently, there are people who still clean the room or rooms that the "Repair Man" might see when he calls. It is a waste of time, we are all "Snow blind" If the Police stopped me as I left your house and asked me what colour your wallpaper was. I wouldn't know, I don't look. So, Relax.
Two wonderful things happened to Appliance Engineers in Northern Ireland about 10 years ago. The 1st was McDonalds, where we could use the toilet and wash our hands for free and I suppose the 2nd was mobile phones, so we could call you and say "I'm lost." Before this happened, I often had to use your loo or phone. Ahh, how times have changed.
I remember years ago having to repair a washing machine at a farm house, which for me is normal. I don't know how clean the Kitchen was, but the 20 year old washing machine was spotless. When I pulled it out to repair it, behind it was really clean too. It was clear that Mrs Farmers Wife was really house Proud. I was able to repair the machine, but it took me over 2 hours. In that time my bladder had filled up quite nicely and watching the machine fill and empty with gallons of water didn't help me much.
I said to the the lady of the house, "That's your machine all fixed now and is there any chance I could use your toilet, please" She turned 6 or seven shades of blue and asked me if I could wait a moment"
I was happy to wait a moment, but I got worried after 10 minutes and did a little bit of a "Wee Dance" as I was now becoming desperate. After 15 minutes, Mrs Farmers Wife returned and said "Off you go Son, the toilet is 3rd on the right" So I went to have a what by now was becoming a desperate pee. I was presented with a cloud of chemicals hanging in air in the toilet, I made my way to the toilet bowl through the chemical cloud of air freshener and was soon in full flow. Imagine my horror, when I looked to my right. Where I expected to see a wall, there was just a clear sheet of plastic with various sized assorted children leaning on a wooden shelf, all looking at me.
As all men are trained to do, I stared straight ahead of me and hoped it would all go away. I flushed the toilet when I was finished and one of the spectators informed me. "Hey Mister, you are the first one to ever use our new toilet"
The Glebe Hills near Tandragee and around Poyntzpass are populated with some of the nicest people it has ever been my pleasure to work for. To my knowledge though, there is no sat nav yet made that can find its way around them.
It was my pleasure to often be found lost in the Glebe Hills, but it was never a problem. A quick stop at any house tunnel car washing machine and the mention of a name and I would soon be on my way to nearly the right house. As it happened, I was lost again so I stopped at a likely house to ask for directions. A good tip is to always stop at a house with at least 2 cars parked outside, that way there is a good chance of finding someone home.
I parked outside this nice little house and stepped over the low gate. I never saw the sign that could have said "Beware of our wee Dog" This little terrier type dog looked at me and continued to run around the lawn, so I thought nothing of it.
I rang the door bell and the door was opened by a Woman with a very worried look on her face. She said to me "Has the dog not bit you yet?" "No" I said, "It's playing on the front lawn" Then, the dog remembered it's job (no doubt it had overheard it's owner and didn't want to let the side down)
As I was explaining, that I was looking for Magill's. The dog came tearing round the corner and bit me several times on the shin, it paused as it digested the threads from my jeans, which gave me a chance to react. I learned a very valuable lesson that day. If you are being bitten by a wee dog while it's owner stands watching you. The only correct reply is something like "Aw, it's a lovely wee dog" or "Sure. It's probably only playing"
My response that day though was, to kick it frantically and say "Get the Bugger off me!" It May not, with hindsight have been the correct response. It is however, what every Postman, and washing machine engineer would be inclined to do.
After about 20 days or more probably, 2 minutes, the lovely wee dog got bored and left.
As I bled my way back over the gate without any directions, I saw the sign on the gate. "Beware of the dog, it might be small, but it's a bit of a biter"
My Dad's Brother, my Uncle, decided to buy a microwave oven. This again is easily 30 years ago. In those days microwaves were by some, considered to be a magic item and I think my Uncle was amongst them. He had heard my Dad saying things like "You just put touchless car wash the soup in for 40 or 50 seconds and it's cooked" or "A baked potato in 45 seconds"
Now you need to understand that this microwave buying Uncle had barley any electricity, he lived almost on the shores of Lough Neagh and had never in all his 66 years used a telephone. A very nice man he surely was, but he just hadn't embraced the technical age.
I went to visit him one evening. He was about to cook some soup. After giving me a cup of tea (which he made on his gas cooker) I watched him open a tin of "Campbells Condensed soup" You know the soup I mean, You open the tin and dilute it with water, then heat it through and serve.
Ahh, but my Uncle had a microwave oven. I watched him open the tin of soup, pour it into a big plastic bowl (no tins allowed in microwaves) He topped the soup up with some warm water left over from making my tea, then placed it in the microwave. My Uncle looked at the clock on the mantelpiece for about a minute, then took the soup out of the microwave oven and started to eat it. Not only did he eat it, but he enjoyed it.
The only problem with all of this? The microwave was not plugged in to the mains and he didn't even turn it on. He just took my Dad at his word, and "Put his soup into the microwave for 45 seconds or so" and allowed the microwave oven fairy to work her magic. Which you and me know she didn't, but he never did.
Years ago my Dad had a wee shop selling second hand and new washing machines. A small little shop in a side street in Portadown. I was still at school, but I used to work for him after school and help him out in the shop. I don't know how my Dad felt about this wee huxter of a shop, but I was really proud of it.
Now and then I would be allowed to look after the shop when my Dad had to go out and I was determined to make a good impression.
A customer called in one day and asked for a spare part we didn't have. Not to be put off and wanting to make a good impression, I had several responses to his query in my head. "I am sorry, but normally we would have that part on the shelf" or "Normally I could take that part off the shelf" What I actually said was " I'm really sorry, but could we have it off on the shelf?"
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Here I share with you some of the lighter moments I experience every day repairing Domestic Appliances. I love my customers and never forget I'd be nothing without them, but the things that happen to me sometimes need to be shared. I am among the...
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